All Talk and No Action Saturday, January 3, 2009

How many times have you wanted the best for your loved ones...?

Hatched surprise plans for them? Waited endlessly to break the surprise and watch their expressions?

Wanted to gift them the best of things available?

Do little, unexpected things for them...just to see radiant smiles spread across their faces?

Basically, just wished plain happiness for them?

And how many times has it happened that your plan doesn't really match their idea of happiness?

What if your surprise gifts fail to touch any chords?

What if your gestures aren't accepted with the amount of happiness and gusto you had expected?

What if you find yourself forcing them to accept the gesture in the spirit it was given?

What if you felt that you could win over the world BUT your loved ones through intelligent argument?

Yes, your gift/gesture could be in the best interests of your loved one.

Yet, if it doesn't make the person happy and forces them to indulge in happiness they don't want to...

What would you do then?

Would you sulk? Blackmail? Threaten to stop talking? Cry?

I have realised that no amount of tears or emotional blackmail work.

It can work with your colleagues, with the world at large.

Not with your closest and dearest ones.

And I guess, since these tactics don't work with your loved ones, it hurts even more.

They are stupid ways of forcing someone to accept your gestures of love.

Ultimately, what matters in any kind of relationship is - letting people decide for themselves - giving them space to be happy - AND not forcing your idea of happiness on them.

You could be right. Yet, being right isn't always important.

Their happiness and comfort are.

In the new year, I wish I become a LOT more accepting.


Purva said...

I can totally totally relate to this one!!! I love surprising my dear ones..mostly i get to see the expected reaction sometimes even better. Last year, however, I went through exactly the same feeling you've written about. Since it was the special someone in question I would be extremely disappointed everytime I gave him a surprise...Couldn't take that for too long!

Ye manzilen !! said...

In India, forget about near ones ....door ones too don't allow "pleasant surprises" from anyone. Chalo..yu hi sahi...

Anonymous said...

Congo... BLog hit crosses 10K :)

All Talk and No Action said...

@Purva - Hmm....generally I have received very god responses to my surprises...This time though it was something bg and important. Hence the hurt too was I said..I am trying to be more accepting...
Thanks for visiting.

@Ye manzilen - Door ones ko pleasant surprises allow/accept karne ki koi wajah bhi toh nahi janab.

@Anon - Thank you :)

Ye manzilen !! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ye manzilen !! said...

Wajah to Aamir Khan ke paas bhi nahi thi.....magar us ka kaam hua na?

Devil Incarnate said...

Hmmm, thats a good thought and u knw its somewat "Totally correct". I learned the hard way that the best part of giving surprices is giving them space and do things their way, rather than doing it your way thinking, they will like it........

All Talk and No Action said...

@Devil - True. Our idea of a surprise gift might not be the right gift after all :)