What is it about being alone that scares people ?
I have often been asked by colleagues, who happened to see me having breakfast/lunch in solitude -
Akeli baithkar kaise kha leti hai? Humko bula liya hota...Bore nahi ho jaati?
The only thing I end up saying is -
Khaane ke liye company ki nahi, bhookh ki zaroorat hoti hai.
This is not to say that I am a loner or don't revel in lunch time conversations.
It only means that I also enjoy being alone, with my thoughts, in my world.
A lot of my friends and colleagues absolutely shun food when they have no company. They hate to eat by themselves.
Similarly, I know of a lot of married couples who find it difficult to stay alone if their partners are out of town.
Reasons range from being bored, to being talkative and extroverts, to being "friendly" and a "people's person" to being scared of loneliness.
However, being alone is not equal to being lonely.
You could be very very lonely even while strolling with a friend in a crowded market.
When I put my mind to it, the only reason that seems valid is - afraid to be alone.
Afraid to think. About past, present and future.
Afraid to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses.
Fearful that you might not like what the "little voice" within you has to say.
Frightened of not finding answers.
Terrified of having to make decisions.
We are so accustomed to talking, asking and seeking opinions and thoughts from others that we feel afraid of being in our own company and listening to our own little voices - which might deviate from the tried and tested opinions floating around.
But then, being alone is probably your only chance to know yourself and who you really are.
Like my favourite poet, R.W. Emerson would say -
"None of us would ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone."
"Wasssupp?? Wats new??"
In everyday lingo, this is a very common question friends ask each other.
This one, generally leaves a talkative person like me speechless !
Yeah...As in, I don't really have any answers to "wasssupppp gal? Life mai naya kya hai..?" And this coming from people who I talk frequently with...
On mumbling vague answers, I am often told..oh God ! How boring ! Don't you ever get bored?
Well, No. I hardly ever get bored.
Lovely family, cutest pet, fabulous friends, good music, amazing books, stable work, teaching, movies are enough to fill me with excitement.
Why would I ever get bored??
Also, I am perfectly fine being by myself. I can stay perfectly happy and calm even in my own company. Is this very difficult to comprehend?
On the contrary, I find it hard when people seek constant company, for they are afraid of loneliness. On being told that no, I didn't do anything out of the world over the weekend, yesss, I was at home, spent time playing with my pet and chatting with my mom, I am often told that this is a boring activity !
Maybe, I should be spending more time out, dining with more people, making new friends, attending clubs and parties and basically something out of the world to "show" that yaa...I do have an exciting life !
Well, all I have to say is, I don't have to go far to find happiness. I find it at home.
With elaborate family luncheons.
With friends visiting and making it a merry day.
With teaching.
With watching some world class cinema from my newly acquired collection.
And, I don't ever get bored. It would take a Tsunami of boredom to bore me.
So, next time you ask me wassuppp?! Be prepared to get a boring reply yet again !
A forward that has been doing rounds -
It raises some very pertinent questions which employees of all companies that have fallen from the halls of fame should ask themselves -
At a time when almost 90% of my Satyam friends are cribbing about the
fraud and betrayal by Ramalinga Raju, I have a slightly different opinion.
It's bold of me to write this in black and white but this comes straight
from my heart and experience.
Let me start by quoting an example of 2006. Most of my friends were
unemployed with 50-60% plus marks in BTech, with a degree from an average
University and hunting madly for a job. Whether people accept it today or
not but the truth remains that Satyam was the ONLY saviour and the only
mass recruiter who was ready to accept students who had back logs but had
cleared them and also it did not put a very strict minimum marks
criterion. And this was true not only for my small college at Lucknow but
also those across India . Satyam is the fourth largest in IT in India.
Looking at India's population I really want to thank Raju for giving some
54000 Indians jobs atleast for all these years . He was the reason for the
revival of confidence and the reason for the bread and butter for many a
families.
Satyam training was renowned all over India. Their STC training centre
created numerous love stories and unexpected rekindling of a youthful
environment where girls and boys were more indepenent than their college
days . I remember most of my Satyam friends felt that they made better
friends at Satyam's three to six months training than those in the four
years of BTech.
Unfortunately people forget to thank God in sad times . I understand that
what Raju did is deplorable and unpardonable. He should have treated
business more formally and not dealt with it like a family affair . He
should have been strict a couple of months or years before itself. Why did
he hire so many non potential candidates and keep them on bench? When were
the managers and the team mates last told that if they dont work hard,
they will lose their job? Business cannot be run lousily.
I have been staying with some 200 odd girls for the last 2 years and many
of them are from Satyam. Moreover I network a lot and I have lots of male
friends at Satyam . I have seen how people tail gate to Satyam, how they
give their swipe cards to others to swipe it on their behalf , how female
employees have gone home sharp at 6am irrespective of when they landed at
office, how employees sit at home for months at a stretch, prepare for all
kind of post graduate entrance exams and still enjoy a full month's pay,
how often they went for movies at local theatres at office hours, how
often employees went to office just to sign on registers in the morning
and at evening, how often they faked their certificates , how often they
put unlimited fake medical and house rental bills.
How can we blame just one man when EACH AND EVERY person was disloyal ?
How can we exclude Auditors like PwC ? How can we exclude the Board of
Directors who have washed their hands off so clean? How can we exclude
banks who gave hefty loans without true verfication? How can we exclude
the Chief Minister of AP who allowed leniency for Raju's fellow
businessman? How can we exclude managers who were never able to trace
which bench employee under him had been away from office for how long ?
Yet how can people forget this is the same man whose ideas and potentials
gave them an identity for the past several years? How many couples found
the right match at an IT industry , courtesy Satyam and how many Andhra
farmers benefited from their crores of investments in Satyam shares .How
can people forget that Satyam launched its offices right at the doorsteps
of a residential colony, where people can simply walk to work ?
The most gruesome experience that I can recollect was when a Satyam tag
wearing person was waiting to attend an interview and I overheard him
saying that he was in a business meeting at the My Home Satyam ( Madhapur)
office when he was sitting right infront of me at a totally different
company. When employees themselves show such a lousy attitude and dont
care a damn for the brand that they carry around their neck, how can they
expect others to care?
I am not saying that ALL Satyam employees are bad. I have known very
dedicated people too, but my point is very clear, before pointing fingers
at others, introspect .There are thousands of people who have completed
certifications at the cost of Satyam, got trained at Satyam. Satyam made
several freshers stand on their feet to get better jobs elsewhere across
the globe and attain onsite exposure through Satyam.
What Raju did was to keep the business of Satyam going at any cost. I see
a very smart man in him when he understood that he should rather accept
his mistake than be caught by the USA laws . I see a selfish father in him
too that he put a lot at stake for Maytas. However, he resigned with a lot
of dignity and his letter of resignation shows humility. It takes a
mammoth amount of courage to accept your mistake in public at a time when
the media is ready to blow everything out of proportion. If humans dont
make mistakes who else would ?
My last salute to this man is for creating such mass employment in India
for 57k employees and 57k families when even opening a beetle(pan) shop in
a lane in India is a challenge !! Thanks to him for creating income for
all the thousands of families who benefited through food chains, the
tiffin wallahs, the transport people and all those who made money by
renting their houses.
I read he donated Rs 12000 crores from his personal pocket to give the
January salary of his Satyam employees. Today Satyamites call Raju a
FRAUD. The true and loyal Satyamites surely have all the reasons to say
this word. But all the rest who sucked every rupee out of Satyam without
doing any value addition need to understand - who was a bigger fraud.
I hate Tattoos !!!!
I do not understand the need to get your body pierced with needles, shed blood, bear immense pain and just tell the world that you are different.
My cousin got his arm and neck tattooed yesterday and, of all things on this planet, he wanted to declare to the world, that he is a BAD BOY??!!
Rubbish !!
Spend 5000 bucks on a 2 tattoos just to show your rebellious streak?
That's an expensive declaration !
Ya, people do have various notions about money and stuff. Logic wouldn't work here. So let's leave out money.
Still, how can you allow foreign materials to ever touch your skin and remain there forever?
Again at what cost?
Infection? Allergic reactions?
Google tells me that needles, threads, ink, ashes, animal bones, dye, adhesives and a LOT more items are used to get you that desired, out of the world "look".
Phew. I don't have any arguments against tattoos apart from the fact that I love my skin as it is.
I do not need to spoil it just to show to the world that I am different.
I hate Tattoos !!!
"The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson."
- Tom Bodett
Nope, I am not here to theorize and lecture on life experiences.
But yeah, I am here to talk about experiences, to be precise - Work Experiences.
The other day, was having a chat with a few colleagues, our general ambitions, goals and plans.
Most of us are keen on doing PG, a few are already in preparation for CAT and some more keen on pursuing non business degrees.
A few have already put in their papers to drown themselves in the SIM/AIMCATs.
Many from the group had been working for more than 2 years and couldn't wait to get back to school.
Surprisingly, most from the group felt that they had "wasted" 2 precious years of their lives and it was either now or never as far as PG was concerned.
Abhi nahi kiya toh mummy papa shaadi karva denge….
Bore ho gaya hoon…isliye CAT le raha hoon…
Yaar, ab kaam vaam bahut hua...Chetna/MET bhi kya kharab hai…
I differ on the above.
Neither am I in a hurry to pursue my PG nor do I feel that my work experience has been a waste.
If I were to do a comparative analysis on myself now and while in college… I would prefer my "now" version.
Yes, I was brimming with enthusiasm, wanted to take on the world, had stars in my eyes and a lot more while in college.
I am the same even now. Only a more refined, practical version.
Yes, it has increased my knowledge, given me domain expertise, opened my mind to new ideas and global happenings, made me more analytical, improved my logical faculties AND a lot more.
But these could have been achieved from theory and academics too ! This is not what one should seek from a "work experience".
It's the "life skills" that are my major take away from my work.
My work has given me a sort of independence that most people my age can only dream of - freedom of thought, choice, speech and financial independence.
It has made me capable of holding my own in tricky situations, increased and improved my confidence and self belief, helped me in fostering great relationships that have extended beyond work.
It's not just about networking with colleagues. It's about learning about people, cultures, situations.
It's not about professional mail writing. It's about client interaction and finesse.
It's not about information overload. It's about sifting through loads of data and understanding what to choose and more importantly, what to Ignore !
It's about plain common sense.
Again, humour has always worked as a saviour in tough situations - your boss - your idol - I can fail too - he is a human after all.
Working before one's PG also helps decide what one wants to do further in life. Your work might make your realize where your strengths lie and what kind of work you would like to do for the next 30 odd years.
On a more personal front, my work has made me realize and opened my eyes to a lot of things I took for granted earlier - time with loved ones, time for myself, my responsibilities.
I have also come to appreciate and respect the hard work put in by my parents to bring me up.
I always wanted my dad to have dinner with us, not understanding his work commitments. Though he had a tough and busy schedule, yet he made it a point to share a meal, discuss, share his insights. Never once did he complain of backache, headache, tiredness when my brother and I threw all our childish and irritating questions at him at night.
He always managed to find enough time to teach us, play with us, narrate bed time stories, take us to places, plan birthday parties - ALL with truckloads of work.
You shall use the jargon of "Time Management". For me, it is all about prioritizing and knowing the importance of family life.
Had I not worked, not been involved with deadlines, not been forced to stretch myself - I might not have learnt to prioritize, be patient and be more loving towards my family.
I hope, more people work with an open mind and heart to truly understand and cherish the experience.
