All Talk and No Action Sunday, October 4, 2009

This piece made for an interesting read on an otherwise dull Sunday. Nice to know what men want.

However, most men still wonder - what is it that women really want?

More freedom, more money, extra comforts, what? what is it?

Media and all the DIY books aren't very insightful in this regard. Neither are their own mothers.

So, here is a humble attempt at figuring out what my ilk is after.

In three words - Let us be.

Really, it is that simple actually.

Most girls I know aren't your belan donning, bra burning, uncouth feminist variety.

Most of them aren't bothered about ego, competition and proving who is better at running the house.

For all they care - they would be very happy if you earned more than they did. So don't let such poisonous thoughts destroy your relationship.

All they seek is freedom. Freedom to think. Freedom to do as they please. Freedom to use the gray matter they have been born with. Freedom to pursue and enjoy an "identity".

Lots of wealthy males find it difficult to understand the reasons of why their wives might want to work.

"Hum khush rakhte hain...sab khareed kar dete hain na...saari ichhayen puri karte hain...toh kya zaroorat hai kaam karne ki?"

If only life was that simple.

A woman might not want to work to prove that she is better than you. She might want to work because it gives her financial independence. It broadens her vision, it gets her to learn new things, it helps her to become wiser.

Also, this whole feminism thing goes beyond just work and financial independence.

True feminism is about a woman doing what she likes - then it could be becoming a CEO or a home maker. Whatever makes her happy.

There is a lot of negativity when "emancipated and 21st century" women are discussed.

Really, all the skepticism only makes the fight a woman faces tougher.

Most girls face this battle in their heads - they want to be the best homemakers, understanding wives and wonderful mothers. They want to be as good as their mothers/mothers-in-law. Yet, at the same time, they also want to excel at work and other interests they have.

So why should it be an either/or case for them? Why can't it be both?

In the coming years, if women want true liberation, a lot is going to depend on them as well as on men. If men understood this basic need of a human being to excel and lead a life based on equality and freedom, we would finally stop celebrating Women's Day, which I feel is a stupid day really.

I will end with a favourite example.

Shabana Azmi was once being interviewed. A fan asked her how she spent her leisure time. The lady replied that she cooked, cleaned, ironed clothes for Javed, etc.

To this, the fan gave her a somewhat puzzled look. Shabana was then told - "But you are a feminist!"

Now really, this is where today's definition of feminism fails.

Shabana rightly admonished the fan and said "Cleaning the house, ironing clothes, cooking - do not make me any less feminist in nature. If only people understood what true feminism stood for".


ashkd said...

adorable!! :-) :-) :-)

Anonymous said...

nice one....should note down some points for future encounters...:D


Devil Incarnate... said...

:)Too good one dear.. cant agree moree..
I hav seen ppl giving me surprice look, whn i tell them i knw cooking..
its like i never saw kitchen in entire life time...

All Talk and No Action said...

@ashkd - :)

@allthecrap - You know, the best part of your comment was "encounters" :)

@DI - I know about cooking ! It just amuses me...judging a girl on the basis of her culinary skills...though sometimes we can use it as a blessing in disguise, when we feel lazy :P

Aditi said...

Wonderful! A misunderstood fact is more dangerous than total ignorance.. At being ignorant about the concept one has at least one door remaining where s/he can understnad the correct fact.. I feel all the so called hush-ul-lah done by celebrity feminist who are in truth not more than champagne socialist take the direction of discussion in a complete opposite direction. For them this post should prove to be an eye opener!!