All Talk and No Action

My Dear Fundu English Speaking Brethren,

I hope my letter finds you in the pink of your health. Ah now, there is no reason why you shouldn't be feeling so...given the umpteen number of reasons our Non English/Mediocre English/public school bred brethren give you...

So how have you all been?

Err, please, that suspicious look is the last thing I need right now. I know I should have written to you long back. I should have taken more initiative and interest in your well being.

If only I had had the foresight, things might not have come to this.

I know I really should have raised my voice when you laughed your brain off at Eena's English Poetry Recitation.

I shouldn't have looked the other way when you mocked Meena on her inadequate class participation owing to her rudimentary English grammar.

I should have shown my disgust when you ostracized Deeka for being from a lower middle class, non English speaking background.

All through the past years, you joked, laughed at, insulted, belittled everyone who fumbled with their English. Vernacular Students were shooed away and so were Hindi professors.

Old uncles and aunts reading Manorama, Navbharat, Gujarat Samachar, Jansatta were persuaded to switch to the hep Times of India.

Kitty parties became breeding grounds for "Yo" Mommas who couldn't stand Hindi speaking behenjis...

Anything remotely "Hindi" was dismissed !

You wanted to welcome the new world and all the glories it brought in the form of BPO/KPO/ITES et al.

Yet, at what cost? What had our dear old Hindi done to deserve this fate??

For all I know, she is one of the sweetest languages ever. One who is all embracing and understanding.

So, then, the fault must have lied with you. Your basic need to seek approval. The centuries old burden to please and try to be "one" with those who thought Hindi was "down market".

And so, this is why I write to you today. I want to help you overcome your illusory feelings about yourself and others. I want to help you understand that it is OK to be "not very good" at English. It's NOT the end of the world if one of our brethren fails at talking in "correct" English.

Will you be my friend again? Will you help me build this bridge between us?

What? Is that a Yes?! Great !

Now that you show an inkling of what needs to be corrected, here are my guidelines for our Fraanship -

• Do not laugh at Mr A for fumbling with his English Presentation in office. He might not have been lucky to attend a good school but he damn well is a hardworking man
• Please talk with fellow Indians in Hindi. Not because it brings with it a certain informality, but because it is natural
• Please talk to your neighbour in Hindi. Though she is from the Hindi medium, I bet she shall have lots to add to your overflowing cup of intelligence
• Please don't start with "You Blooddyyyy..." when a Sam/Somnath calls to sell credit cards in his rustic English. Say a Polite No.
• If you are a snooty teenager who avers Hindi and often mouths Eva, I tell Ya, Gotcha, Oh My Gosh, betcha, gotta go, Yo Baby.....STOP you idiot ! Now you are iinsulting not one, but two beautiful languages! Go, join some English Speaking Academy.
  
• I know I am stretching this a little far, but why don't you try your hand at a Hindi Daily, or for that matter, any regional daily? They have great content and show an otherwise unknown India. Once we progress, I shall ask my Mata Shri for recommendations on Premchand and Mahashweta Devi's novels...
  
• Promise me you wont ill treat Vernacular Students. Let me tell you a tiny secret. Vernacular Blood courses through my veins and some of my closest pals belong to this breed too! These people are go getters and very committed. Before you know, they shall be challenging your very own strengths !
• You might be interested in knowing that Mandarin & French are two of the most sought after languages. Yet, the countries they are spoken in, forged ahead not by boycotting these languages.
  
• OK, Please follow the above only when you are fully convinced that Hindi deserves more respect. Follow these rules if you truly believe that Hindi is a part of who you are, your identity. Don't do it because you feel obliged to or face danger from me !