All Talk and No Action Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Do men like their women to be less intelligent than them?

Just the other day, a friend said, he wouldn't want his lady to know more than he did.

"You see, she should be as sweet and as dumb as Phoebe Buffay!"

Before I could open my mouth, to cover his track, he also said...

"See, tere bhai ke bhi yehi vichaar honge...And am sure most men wouldn't want a partner who knew more than they did...So now don't start your Mahila Mandal Bhashan !"

So.... Really??


india unbound said...

Most men dont care whether their woman is less or more intelligent than them though they look for some intelligence.

However, most women look for a man who is more intelligent then them.

Anonymous said...

One question that comes to my mind is ki aise log hamare is blogger ko hi kyun milte hain :D

Deepak Iyer said...

Very subjective. But on a general basis, I won't be surprised if what your friend stated is true.

Your take on the ending comment by india unbound ?

Deepak Iyer said...

Forgot to add, what does the discussion mean by intelligence anyway ??

Ye manzilen !! said...

Where is she?

ashkd said...

Intelligence is a very subjective criteria.. and different for different things.. you can talk about

understanding things in general
emotional maturity
living life
fun loving
great in relations
or plain IQ

being good in every part of is divine.. and if you get someone who is divine then surely anyone can compromise on it.. :P

Anonymous said...

hey... wer is that woman???.... :P


Devil Incarnate... said...

I think, men do look 4 intelligent women, than smeone just pretty.I hav seen my frnds n my cousins going 4 pretty intelligent women rather than just pretty. Most men i think look 4 someone equal 2 their leve than soemone who is more educated, dnt knw y..

Bt ys being a women, i definitly look 4 smeone more intelligent than me..... it shud b tat way rite...!

Anonymous said...

There may be one more reason....I think its easy to find intelligent men and even easier to find not-so-intellegent gal.... :P...ppl got adjusted to the situation and its all in demand-n-supply, isnit??

Hey gals dont kill me for this one....just a thght... :)

All Talk and No Action said...

@india unbound - I think that's a blanket statement. I have seen otherwise. Most men aren't bothered about the intelligence aspect :)

Yes, I agree that most women do prefer men who are more intelligent than them.

@Anon - Would have been nice had you used your name. Anyway, I too wonder why I attract such people and debates? :D
Maybe, God wants to improve such people and sends them to me?! ;)

@Deepak - By intelligence, I meant an "aware" person... Not just literate...
Also, most women do want more intelligent men.

If you have observed, women would place kindness, sensitivity, intelligence very high in their "most wanted" qualities...all of these form a part of EQ & IQ. For loads of women, intellectual stimulation is necessary. Also, if a girl's partner knew more than her, she wouldn't get insulted.

However, most men (atleast the loads that I have known) - Wouldn't ever mention intelligence in their criteria. Maybe their egos can't handle an intelligent partner or they plain like to be in "control".

But I guess, both ways, if a more intelligent man met a lesser intelligent women, both would be happy :)

@Ye Manzillen - Aap aaj tak kisi intelligent woman se mile nahi? Kya kamaal hai :)

@ashkd - Here, I was referring more to being more well informed as an individual and not just a nice person. I think men like to take lead and explain stuff to their women and could get bored easily if the women already knew everything !

@allthecrap - Mahila Mandal ko bolun kya?? :))

@Devil Incarnate - I think your cousins/friends must have been bowled over by the beauty and intelligence was like a "Sone pe Suhaga". Frankly, I haven't met ANY such guy :) Isliye yahan bhi yeh sawaal uthaya...

@Anon - Oh yaaa. Don't get started on the battle of the sexes mister :)

Anonymous said...

@ All Talk and No Action

I agree to you that an intelligent man and a dumb woman is key to a happy married life.

Deepak Iyer said...

@Atana :
Agree with the male ego thing.
I don't know what you mean by aware. Coz usually, the domains of knowledge of men and women are so different. Man could talk cricket, politics, finance, etc. while women could discuss (fill in things here).
There usually isn't a common ground, assuming they come from different backgrounds.

Then it just comes down to the number of degrees, and most men/women prefer partners with <=/>= degrees than them. But once both cross a post-grad, it doesn't matter really.

P.S. : This Anonymous person is uber cool. Could you please share your data set ?

ashkd said...

i believe that everyone wants an understanding partner.. be it man or woman.. the definition of understanding can be broaden to be called intelligence.. if anyone wants one of the criteria as mentioned in the last set, he/she would call it intelligence.. so everyone wants an intelligent partner.. girl and boy both..

if you talk about superiority in any of the criteria like education, status, salary, responsibility then the issues become.. most of the girls also do not want that their partner would be lesser in any standard.. so they also look for a superior partner.. and it boosts the ego for a man to start thinking of being superior OR looking for an inferior partner if he cannot grow to improve everytime..

so there are people who look for equally intelligent partners.. when someone is not adjusting with a superior female partner then he might be in a state of no-growth.. or may be he is also not aware of his no-growth state..

kuchh jyada hee philosophical ho gaya.. :P

india unbound said...

I think that's a blanket statement. I have seen otherwise. Most men aren't bothered about the intelligence aspect

It is not a blanket statement. Most men I know look for intelligence. May be you have had a different experience. Our perceptions on such matters are based on the people we mostly come across so we should agree to disagree here.

@ ashkd

Agree with your philosophy specially with no growth part.

All Talk and No Action said...

@Anon - Ok, whatever makes you happy :)

@Deepak - Well, women can discuss cricket, politics and blaah blaah too :)

By aware I meant well read, inquisitive bent of mind and such other stuff. Thank God, u agree about the "Ego" part :) But as said, I guess it's a win-win if a very intelligent man marries just an intelligent woman :)

@ashkd - What you are talking about is the whole package - a person's basic behaviour/character...that would involve EQ too. I am just referring to IQ here. My observation says that men can survive with less intelligent women. Let's say, they prefer women who don't really challenge them intellectually. Now you have already given a reason of why that could be...

@india unbound - Do refer a few such men to me please :)

What's in a name? said...

woa...a small simple stupid discussion between two friends ( to be precise between me and Mukta) could lead to such a debate, never imagined that... :D

Funny, but from now on, I gotta be cautious while speaking to the author, pata nai kya kab kahan chapp de...

All Talk and No Action said...

@What's in a name - Mister, I made sure ki aapka naam kahin nahi aaye...But yahan toh aap khud publicity chahte hain ;)

Anyway, the results of our discussion are here to see...happy?