All Talk and No Action

With lots of time to kill last night, my brother and I zeroed in on My Name is Khan.

I always have reservations about a Johar movie, especially, when he directs it. Still, not heeding advice of empirical data and ignoring my intuition (which is almost always correct in pointing out potential disasters), we headed out to watch MNIK.

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Oh before we talk about this Opus, let me tell you, yesterday was an official paid leave for the Policemen of Mumbai.

About 30 policemen guarded the Cinemax we went to. We saw a dozen outside a closed Fame Adlabs too.

Well, a shut Adlabs would have cost a bomb to the owners, really. A weekend and no shows to run?

But that is not the point. Business losses toh hote rehte hain. Big Deal !

What I am happy about is that our overstretched, tired, un-appreciated policemen got a paid leave.

Only I don't know if being over-stretched yet doing real work is more exhausting than watching a Karan Johar movie.

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So back to MNIK.

Now here, for the first time, Karan Johar has tried his hand at "serious" and "meaningful" cinema.

I hope this is his last time.

My Name is Khan chronicles the life of a Rizwan Khan with Asperger's Syndrome. The movie is a three hour melodrama on his life, his outlook, his relationships, his beliefs, his religion, his kindness, mother-son relationship, husband-wife relationship, racism, Hindu - Muslim riots, 9/11, post 9/11 atrocities on various ethnic communities, Afghanistan, Iraq, President Bush, Hurricane Katrina, President Elect Obama.

There is more. But I am overwhelmed and hence cannot mention all the issues the movie brought up.

Terrorism, Mental/Physical Disorders and Religion - all require certain sensitivity to portray onscreen.

Karan fails colossally.

From the story to characterization - everything is faulty in this one.

The movie is so inconsistent when it deals with characters and historical events, that it leaves you feeling stupid.

E.g. Towards the end of Bush's term, when Obama catapulted on the world political stage, I remember reading that Bush had been advised to make lesser public appearances, since his face was actually doing more harm to Republican candidates than helping them win. So if you have followed the 2008 Presidential Elections, you would actualy know that Bush had almost disappeared from the public scene. Yet, the movie, not only shows Bush in his full glory, being treated like a King at all public appearances, and that at the fag end of his term ! Which would mean August/September 2008 ! Why Karan why??

Also, the relationship between SRK & Kajol is just so inadequate and glib that it leaves you speechless, really.

The movie has various such exasperating incidents and goof ups.

Also, in trying to address various issues, Karan loses track and ends up addressing nothing.

One wouldn't mind such stupidity, had the central characters been well written and brought out onscreen.

But SRK's Rizwan is not what a person with Asperger's Syndrome would look, dress and be like. Though SRK does a good job in some scenes, especially which only require him to smile coyly, or show his emotions when the situation demands, overall I wasn't convinced.

The biggest let down was Kajol's Mandira. The character has no depth and would seem like an opportunist by the end of the movie, if you are still watching it, that is. Kajol, though looks stunning, has a weak role and I am amazed how she didn't object while going with it.

The music by Shankar-Ehsan-Loy is very average and doesn't make the journey any easy for the viewer.

It would have made more sense to make a movie with a person afflicted with some disorder and focus on his relationships.

Or a movie just on Terrorism.

Or a movie on the plight of ethnic communities in the US after 9/11.

Or a superhero SRK flying in to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Yes, that would have been more convincing.

While I fidgeted in my seat last night, and almost cried out of boredom, I took an oath of never to watch Karan Johar directed movies, not even if I am thrown out of my house and have no avenues of killing time.