All Talk and No Action Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What is it about being alone that scares people ?

I have often been asked by colleagues, who happened to see me having breakfast/lunch in solitude -

Akeli baithkar kaise kha leti hai? Humko bula liya hota...Bore nahi ho jaati?

The only thing I end up saying is -

Khaane ke liye company ki nahi, bhookh ki zaroorat hoti hai.

This is not to say that I am a loner or don't revel in lunch time conversations.

It only means that I also enjoy being alone, with my thoughts, in my world.

A lot of my friends and colleagues absolutely shun food when they have no company. They hate to eat by themselves.

Similarly, I know of a lot of married couples who find it difficult to stay alone if their partners are out of town.

Reasons range from being bored, to being talkative and extroverts, to being "friendly" and a "people's person" to being scared of loneliness.

However, being alone is not equal to being lonely.

You could be very very lonely even while strolling with a friend in a crowded market.

When I put my mind to it, the only reason that seems valid is - afraid to be alone.

Afraid to think. About past, present and future.

Afraid to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses.

Fearful that you might not like what the "little voice" within you has to say.

Frightened of not finding answers.

Terrified of having to make decisions.

We are so accustomed to talking, asking and seeking opinions and thoughts from others that we feel afraid of being in our own company and listening to our own little voices - which might deviate from the tried and tested opinions floating around.

But then, being alone is probably your only chance to know yourself and who you really are.

Like my favourite poet, R.W. Emerson would say -

"None of us would ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone."


ARJuna said...

Can't say anything more than what you hae said so beautifully in your post...I agree

All Talk and No Action said...

@ARJuna - I am flattered...
Thank You :)

Anonymous said...

even i feel azeeb wen eating alone specially in family rest...kinda weired...n I am damm affraid to ask any question to myself....ur very correct...nice one!!!

All Talk and No Action said...

@allthecrap - Your "azeeb" makes me think ki you have just watched "ajab prem ki..." :)

Family Restaurant mai koi akela nahi baithega.Yes, that would be weird :)

But, do try being "alone"...It is fun!

Anonymous said...

I do it wen mom is out of town...even at office I dont like eating alone...:0

and I like being alone but I dont introspect..i myself busy...:)

God Is Great said...

I think its (just) a matter of need and practice... eat once alone and you might actually enjoy the experience ... well am reading your experience because I dont have much to do and none to talk to currently :) :)

Anonymous said...

spot on. couldnt agree more. ah well. glad to know i am not so wierd after all. lol